I’m Not Going to Think about Her
Table of contents for Break-up Myths
- I’m Not Going to Think about Her
- I’ll Never Find Anybody As Good Again
- I Love Him, and I Can’t Live Without Him
Break-up Myth #1: If I can’t stop thinking about someone, this proves I love that person.
It’s terrible. You’ve had a relationship break-up, and you just can’t get your ex out of your mind. Everything you see or hear reminds you of your lost love. You’re not alone. This is a very common reaction when you’ve been dumped.
You may think you can just quit thinking about your ex, that if you only had enough willpower you’d be able to stop obsessing. Lev Ylimaz captures this myth in one of his Tales of Mere Existence (click on play button to see video).
Video: “I’m Not Going to Think about Her” by Lev Yilmaz
Pure and simple, telling yourself you’re not going to think about your ex won’t keep you from thinking about yur ex.
Infatuation vs. Healthy Love
And it doesn’t prove you love the other person, either. Don’t get me wrong–if you think about someone constantly, you may love them. Or you may just be infatuated, and the feeling won’t last. What I’m saying is that this is not how you tell if you are in love. If your obsession with your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend leads you to spy on them, stalk them, or harass them, these are not signs of a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships are marked by trust, respect, and a desire for the best for the other person. Thinking about your ex all the time doesn’t demonstrate these healthy qualities, in itself.
After your relationship break-up I bet your friends and family told you to “forget her and move on with your life.” Easier said than done! Maybe the break-up was a good thing, and you should learn from the experience and be better able to create a new, healthy relationship with someone else. But maybe there was some real caring between the two of you, and the relationship is worth saving. Many, many strong, healthy relationships have had rocky places, yet the couple made it through them. Just don’t be fooled into thinking that your strong feelings prove anything, in and of themselves. Dig deeper, and examine what attracted you to the other in the first place. The attraction that brought you together can bring you back together.
Great concepts noted here and I appreciate your take on things. One thing I have thought is what we think about is exactly what we get. We create our own reality.