Have you broken up with your girlfriend? Are you now asking yourself “What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back?” Are you starting to think and philosophize about everything you could have done differently? Are you even starting to compose an apology letter? Are you agonizing day and night to figure out other things that might help you get your ex-girlfriend back?

If you are, listen to this carefully. These efforts are likely to hurt your chances for reconciling with your ex for this reason: You cannot tell for sure what the real reasons were for your breakup. Apologizing for anything and everything that might have caused your ex to walk out is counterproductive.  Sometimes women do not even know themselves what led to the breakup and they may not know what is making them feel the way they do. It is useless to spend all your energy trying to figure out what went wrong.

The first step, or opening move, to answer the question “What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back?” is to stop over-analyzing the relationship, take a break from it for awhile, and put your energy into something else. If you are like most people, you are too close to the situation to see what you did to contribute to the breakup. Instead of staying home and moping, go out, make friends, have fun, and forget about dating in general. Set some realistic goals about expanding your repertoire when it comes to seduction and meeting people.

Give yourself a couple of months and make changes in your life. Take some time away from your ex and it will work wonders.

The effect that a cooling off period like this will have is that it will allow you to make gradual changes in your life and in how you perceive the subject of relationships. One thing that will happen is that you will be able to see the situation more clearly when you step back and look at it from a distance. After a few months, you may have a much better idea of how you want to proceed with your ex.

Then you will be able to decide if you still want to get back together with your ex. Or you may discover that you are ready to move on. Act accordingly. If you still want to get back together with her, it might be time to figure out how she is feeling about you.

Now is your chance to be a little more direct when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back. You need to play strategically, however. Do not simply beg her to get back with you, because this is not a good time to be emotional.

Instead, what you should be doing is taking things slow and easy with your ex. If you have spent enough time apart from her, she is probably missing you as much as you are missing her. Play a little bit “hard to get” without overdoing it. This will show her that you are doing okay without her. This will inspire her to take a second look at her relationship with you.

And if getting back together with your ex really is in the cards,  after a cooling off period you will be better able to tell. Stop analyzing what you did or didn’t do too much, because over-analyzing may prevent you from acting the right way to get your ex girlfriend back. Just take things slow and play it cool and everything should turn out fine.

And guess what? This cooling off period strategy can help a woman get her ex-boyfriend back, too.

If you found this strategy helpful, you can find more about it and what to do next in The Magic of Making Up System by T.W. Jackson.

Tags: Cooling off period, how to get your ex back